all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
