We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Your cock deserves a montage
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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