I'm going to jail i love you
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
