I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
