So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
only you would photoshop your dick
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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