i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
