I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
