why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
