The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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