I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
