Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
