I am spending my child support on dildos
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
