Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
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