i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
