I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
