If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
