you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize