I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
