I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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