Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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