i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
