you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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