So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
