Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
