she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
