Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
