so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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