There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
