I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
