My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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