Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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