Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
