Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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