He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
