Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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