i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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