2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
