spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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