not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
