You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
