He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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