I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
