Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
