so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
