it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
