Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
