drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
