WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
