Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
