i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
