I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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