you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Randomize
