So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
