You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
