dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
