ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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