so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
