But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
