The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize