I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
