It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
