I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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