I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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