I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i would punch a child for taco bell
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
