That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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