we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Congratulations! We have a period
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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