The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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