All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
