i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
